I am just giving and early warning; this is an emotional post.
I have been pondering all day about the events of the past week. One week ago today I took my two oldest girls to visit my grandma in the hospital. As many of you know my grandma had been battling a form of leukemia for two years now. She had gone to the hospital to receive further treatment for the disease. As I sat in the room with many of the family members I was full of emotions and questions. Mostly questions for myself. How would I ever compare to this amazing woman? How could I provide for my children the way she has for hers? Would I be able to spend 65 years in love with my eternal companion?
The way I view my grandma is described in one word: strength. My entire life my grandma has been there. From the time we moved to the farm when I was four years old, I have memory after memory of my grandma. I was so fortunate to have her close to me for so many years. She always offered me advice, she always supported me, and she absolutely provided me with an example of unconditional love. This love was evident right down to her pets.
I have spent this last year trying to return some of the love for my grandma by fixing dinners and treats for both grandma and grandpa. I have enjoyed every minute of it. My mom has worked day in and out taking my grandparents to their appointments and seeing to their everyday needs. After the family was informed last Monday that they should bring my grandma home, I have reflected on that unconditional love.
As the days pasted in the week and I saw her fragile body weaken I just wanted to hold her hand once more time and compare it to mine. I think that my hands look just like hers and I wanted to have that memory with me. I love my grandma so much and am thankful that I have a child who will carry her name. I am a better person because of her influence and am so grateful for the time I had with her. I can only hope to live my life as well as she did hers.
She returned to our Heavenly Father late Friday night May 2, 2008. This week has allowed me to lean on my beliefs and well as the strength of my family. A family that grandpa and grandma started 65 years ago. Her influence will live for many generations. I am so grateful for her life and her legacy. I know that someday I will hold her hand in mine again.
9 comments:
That was beautiful and emotional. I don't think I've really let it sink in yet, but I'm sure once we are up there, it will be a different story for me. We were so lucky to have Grandma, and she was an amazing example of what kind of woman we should strive to be.
Thanks for the early warning, but the emotions still came. Grandma will be missed for many things and you put it so beautifuly!! Thanks for your comment on my blog, I am going to miss everyone, especially family! Thanks to grandma and grandpa we have had good times as family and I will always remember us playing in the bus and you showing me Eli in the basement. Thanks for being a great cousin and friend.
Grandma's are GREAT and it is the best to know that we will be with them again. I hope you are doing okay!! I am sure your Grandma is so proud of you and the great person you are!! Your blog was beautiful!!
Jan
What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother. I never actually met her but she seemed so classy whenever I saw her. It must be where you got it. I hope if there's anything we can do for you you'll let us know. Just give us 24-36 hours to let the antibiotics kick in for the strep Gracie and Chandler both have. :(
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you will all miss her very much.
Well, it was back to school for me today and it was the first day for a long time my students didn't see me crying. I got through the day and I was totally worn out, but then Jenica came in and asked me how I was doing and I busted into a gale of tears. I just realized I would never go to my Mother's house just to visit with her again! I slept over with my Dad last night and he is so lonely. It's going to be hard, but if I think about my Mother, I know she would expect me to pick myself up and get myself going! Thank you for your beautiful post and for loving Grandma and being so good to her. I love you!
Ditto to all you said about Grandma. Of course I am sitting and crying as I read this post and think of all that we will miss not having her here with us.
Billie Jo, what a beautiful family you have!! I have great memories of both my grandmothers, and I know they are always close. I know your grandmother is watching over your family as she always has, it is just easier for her now, but it is harder for you. We love you so much. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Your blog was very touching.
I thought I left a comment on your blog right after this post, but I guess I didn't. Sorry! It is such a wonderful and touching post! Your family is such an example to us all. You have been there and helped each other through these hard times and I admire that so much. We love you guys!
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